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welcome to this website where your dreams become your reality.  my name is Jen Ives and I do some things. I brush my teeth when I'm happy and like my cold drinks with ice. I could exercise more. I am a writer. I do stand up comedy. I'm an artist but I only got a grade C in my GCSEs so I'm not a good one. I like short walks on the beach, when the weather is nice but I don't live anywhere near one. I'm a film maker, but I haven't made a big Hollywood film or anything like that so maybe I'm not. I'm the CEO of a major conglomerate that rhymes with "Mestl'e". I have one father, one sister but my mother is dead. Sometimes, when I'm feeling kinda goofy I'll do this thing where I put my finger on my nose and push it up like a little piggy, I dunno I'm kind of a goofball. I have a facial tick that I've managed to hide from everyone for my entire life. I've got tits. I'm a pretty big deal on the website twitter but a Rose West parody account has more followers so maybe I'm not. I recently had a dream where I had to help my sister buy a shovel. I've never held a hedgehog and I still don't know whether or not it would be spiky and hurt my hands, or if it'd just be fine. I believe in ghosts but I don't know why. I've written for television, but television is probably dead. I own 42 books that I've never read. My hamster is probably going to die soon. When I was ten I used to fantasise about eating my school lunches from a horse's feed bag.  I've never been to New York. I have been to me. I am London based. I hope you enjoy my website. 

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If you like my work and would like to support me via the medium of cold hard cash, you can do so here:

or just follow me here I guess

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