• Jen

Hay Bae #6 - Hawt Ration 2020 Lewks


Hay Bae, you good?

I've moved to Hackney. Arrived about 12 today, with the help of my good Pa, and his good car - bundled all my clothes and earthly possessions in (yeah, everything I own can fit into a CAR. I'm pretty god-damned minimalist tbh. Marie Kondo watches ME for inspiration). Shout out to my new flatmate Mariana for helping me with boxes, you are a star. Was probably the easiest move I've ever done. No vans. No mans. (my dad counts as a man obviously, dads are neutral territory. In fact, I'm currently working on a digital video essay on how "dad" is a separate gender. I'm not really making a "video essay", I would literally never do that. What is it with all these Youtubers making video essays now? Hun, you ain't in Uni anymore. No one is gonna give you a 2:1 now. Chill out for 5 minutes).

After I felt settled, I went out for a walk. I went down this road near me (I dunno what it's called, I'm not great with geography. Hackney road? Hackney street? It's in Hackney, anyway) and there were lots of people around - enjoying the sun and enjoying the booze and enjoying their beards and/or maxi-dresses. Top-knots everywhere today - Sun's out, buns out. Anyway, most people seemed to be keeping their regulated distance, so it's nice to see people enjoying themselves safely. Listen to me, Jen Sensible Ives.

As it's Pride today, I went into an independent, queer bookshop (something I don't think I've actually ever done - knowingly, anyway. You know what, full transparency - I'm not sure if this was a queer bookshop. There were a lot of books by gay authors and stuff, but there was no sign that said "yeah - we gay." or anything. But, in a way, aren't all bookshops a bit queer? Even Waterstones is a bit fruity - it's like the camp Tory of the bookshop world). Anyway, I bought a book - "Role Models" by John Waters. Can't get gayer than that.

Whenever I move somewhere new, I always get this excited (but most probably annoying) social tick, where I over-greet every shop owner in the local area. I introduced myself to the guy in the bookshop, and told him about how I'd just moved here today & how much I liked his shop. I was throwing compliments out left, right (and even flipping centre) to all the newsagents, and I even gave the self service checkout in Lidl a little kiss on it's little scanner area (don't tell the Covid Police, please).

Speaking of Lidl, lining up was a mission. We were snaking around the car park like a... erm... a snake-like thing that isn't actually a snake, but is similar to one. I'm not great at simile. The point is, it took a while. It's difficult not to feel like you're in some sort of war-time situation when you have to line up for shopping. It feels very rations. Good for Instagram Photoshoot opportunities with the baes though. Hawt Ration 2020 Lewks. I was mainly going in there to see if I could get my hands on a lightbulb. My dad told me that I need a "BC" one, which is the type of bulb they used before Christ-Times. Lidl had some LED bulbs, but they didn't look quite right. In the end, I was saved by a humble local newsagent - the BC bulbs nestled reliably between the overpriced notepads & translucent blue mens hair gel. When I got back, I screwed that sucka in & you better believe illumination occured. He is risen. Anno Domini Motha Fucka.

I gotta go now, cos I need to finish sticking postcards & CD booklet pages to my bookshelf. So far, I have 2 chimps on a tandem bicycle & a cute af portrait of Joanna Newsom.

Anyway Bae, was great catching up. We should probably do this more often, ya know. Same time tomorrow? Sounds fab. Adios (Spanish).


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