• Jen


It's a match! - Konstantinos

His photo: He stands, shirtless in the sun. You can tell he is in Miami because there is a palm tree, and it was definitely not taken on a day out to the garden centre with Auntie Jean. His cap sits sideways, as does his smile & a wry wink greets you as he tips is Ray-Ban sunglasses down just enough to reveal the full, unimaginable thickness of his eyebrows.

His Bio: My passions? Fitness, travel & good vibes - the trifecta of triumph. Looking for a woman for fun (maybe more, probably not though). My female friends who know me, and are real, call me a "Gym Rat", at least that's what I think they said. I love to travel, and do so often. I am rarely in one city for longer than a couple of days, so you must be flexible ;)

My Anthem: Rudimental - Waiting All Night

KONSTANTINOS: Good morning sweetness x

JEN: Hi!

KONSTANTINOS: You have pretty eyes.

JEN: Thank you, they're mine!


JEN: DW. How are you!?

KONSTANTINOS: I am good! Jus relaxing ;) So what do u say to a drink?

JEN: I don't know, what do you say to a drink?


JEN: DW. I'd like to get to know you a bit better first! Where abouts in London do you live?

KONSTANTINOS: I live in the gym haha!

JEN: Yeh, I can see from your profile that you're into fitness! That's cool. But where abouts in the city are you?

KONSTANTINOS: No, atm I am living in a gym. I need to find a new place tomorrow.

JEN: O rite...

KONSTANTINOS: I have been sleeping on a treadmill. I run, and then I sleep.

JEN: A bedmill?


JEN: Nevermind.

JEN: Why do you move around so much?

KONSTANTINOS: I love travel.

JEN: Yeah, but every couple of days?

KONSTANTINOS: I love to travel. It is my spirit.

JEN: Where are you now?

KONSTANTINOS: Why do u want to no?

JEN: I thought u wanted to meet for a drink?

KONSTANTINOS: r u police?

JEN: ??


It's a match! - Dan

His photo: 3 white men sit, suited and booted - in a swanky Soho bar. Each one grimaces, and holds up ironic Compton gang signs. You swipe to the next image. 2 white men stand back to back, posing like James Bond at a James Bond exhibit next to a James Bond car. There is a caption which reads "JAMES BOND". You swipe to the final photo - 6 white men in suits stand in a long line - they are once again throwing up gang signs & holding bottles of expensive vodka.

His Bio: The names Dan, Dan The Man. License to kill - be my Moneypenny. "How you doin'?" - Joey, FRIENDS. I live for my boys, but I'd die for my girl. Fiat Punto today - Aston Martin tomorrow. Entrepreneur, influencer, sin-fluencer, app development & international financing double agent. I want to buy you diamonds, and show you off around All-Bar-One. Love my mum, she's my "M", but looking for Ursula Andress. Finding a nice girl has been a Mission Impossible so far, but maybe with you, the Ethan Hunt is over?

My Anthem: My Way - Frank Sinatra / James Bond Main Theme

DAN: Ello doll xx

JEN: Tell me James, do you still sleep with a gun under your pillow?

DAN: ???

JEN: It's a quote (isn't it?)

DAN: My name is Dan.

JEN: right...

DAN: So u a transgender?

JEN: Yes, you can call me Caroline Cossey

DAN: I fought ur name wos Jen

JEN: She was a bond-girl

DAN: I ain't heard of her

JEN: She was in "For Your Eyes Only". She was famous mainly for being a transsexual. Apparently no one knew during filming. It was a pretty big scandal at the time.

DAN: I ain't see "For Your Eyes Only"

JEN: I guess it was for my eyes only.

DAN: ?

JEN: Nevermind.

DAN: Ur very hot.

JEN: Thanks

DAN: Am I hot?

JEN: Which one are you? All your pics have multiple ppl in them.

DAN: In the suit.

JEN: They're all in suits.

DAN: So, you had any surgeries?

JEN: Not yet.

DAN: Cos I'm not intrstd if uv had the main surgery.

JEN: I had my wisdom teeth out, is that going to be a problem?

DAN: I'm talkin about the dick.

JEN: No Pussy Galore here

DAN: ?

JEN: I thought you liked James Bond?

DAN: I like the Daniel Craig ones only. Lissen, if we r gonna go out u cant meet my mum

JEN: Er... who says we're goin out?

DAN: I am not gay and it will jus confuse her.

JEN: It's a Dr. No from me.

DAN: ??

JEN: nvm.



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